Best Johnny Depp impersonation ever?
51-year-old Alison Whelan of Devon, England was in court this week for an incident that happened last September. Alison was on a two-day drinking bender, AND high on hallucinogenic drugs. And she and a friend were looking for a place to crash.
They stumbled down toward a river and Alison decided to STEAL A BOAT. As she tried to unhook it from the dock, the cops arrived. Which is when Alison uncorked one of the best real-life criminal catchphrases possible.
She yelled at the cops, quote, “I’M JACK SPARROW!” Then she tried to drive off in the boat.
Anyway, Alison only floated a short distance before the police stopped the boat. And this week she was sentenced to four months in prison for aggravated vehicle theft.